whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
