I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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