Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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