I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
