Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
