they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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