I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
