im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Terrible idea I love it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
