Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
