How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
