A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize