he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize