You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
