Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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