dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
