She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
