I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
