I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
