I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize