Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
