i barfeds in our rink
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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