i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
