I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
