dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have aggressive nipples.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
