Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
What drink are we having for lunch?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
