btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
