hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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