Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
