I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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