Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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