She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
it was like eating out sand paper
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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