Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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