Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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