You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
