you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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