i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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