He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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