is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
