I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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