apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
