'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
