You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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