I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
