Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he thought i was a dude.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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