we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
