the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
