he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
