RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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