Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
