He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
