I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
