Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
