just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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