Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
