I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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