i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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