We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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