Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
