He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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