i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
