So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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