I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
