New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
