i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
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hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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