haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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