Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
