My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
