This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm always down for nudity.
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